


Loss

by AiaPhoenix



Category: Dr. STONE (Anime)
Genre: (pats senkuu's head) this genius boy can fit so much fucking angst inside, Angst, Gen, because you literally cannot tell me that that isn't true, much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22086742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AiaPhoenix/pseuds/AiaPhoenix
Summary: Ishigami Senkuu woke up after 3700+ years.But this time around, his own mind is his enemy.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	Loss

There was always something in the back of his mind that said that giving up would mean death while he was counting the days and when he was finally able to break free, he didn't know what to _do_ the first few days even though the solution was _in his head_.

He was just so lost and confused and _lonely_ because he _didn't know if his friends and his father were still alive somewhere_ and it was messing with his head completely.

He tried to keep calm, think about his situation logically, thinking that panicking won't help, but he _can't help it_.

He was aimlessly walking around (in a daze) for a few days, trying to survive with the knowledge that his panicking mind actually _let through_ and that was confusing and scary for him as well because that has _never happened in his life before_.

He just stumbled through the forest, not being able to sleep at all until he took shelter from the rain in a cave that his tired legs would just barely let him reach. He slid down the wall, an exhausted sigh leaving his lips.

(But he did not cry once, even though his eyes were glassy often.)

Senkuu leaned his head against the wall of the cave and looked up at the ceiling.

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

The sound was soothing, not only coming from the heavy rain outside but also from something else inside the cave.

His eyes closed and he fell asleep, his dreams only consisting of nightmares of _loss_.

The next day, when he woke up, the rain had already stopped.

His stomach growled and he wanted to try to get something to eat, even if his body protested as he walked out of the cave. He came across the monkeys again, who looked at him in wonder but he just turned around and changed directions.

He was way too tired to deal with this. He felt like he hadn't slept at all.

Senkuu was once again reminded of the time where Yuzuriha and Taiju helped him build that rocket and suppressed his emotions with a choked sob, frustrated at himself for letting himself be _vulnerable_ and _weak_ like that.

He didn't have time for _emotions_ , he never paid any attention to his own emotions much, but _why now?!_

He punched a tree in frustration (which was illogical and he regretted it upon impact) and then looked at said tree, just to see something else in the distance.

_A... person?_

He slowly walked towards them.

He had seen many of them – people that were turned into stone the last few days, even if he didn't pay attention to them all that much. His pace fastened the closer he got, hope blossoming in his chest against his will, thinking that he _recognized that figure from somewhere_.

He stepped back in surprise when he came to a stop in front of them, thinking that _yes, it's him, it's really him, he isn't broken yet, he's whole and-_

_**I have to protect him before something else can happen.** _

His mind cleared as he thought about his goal; dragging Taiju back to the cave – the only place that he deemed as mostly safe in this stone world (it felt familiar, feeling like he felt back then, when everything was still normal and _why didn't he appreciate the others enough he's so sorry-_ )

That's why he spent a few hours, even way past dawn when he knew that staying out in the dark would be _dangerous_ because he still didn't fully know what kind of animals were roaming around here, trying to drag Taiju into the cave without hurting him– _breaking_ him.

(He tried not to think about his father. That was another thing altogether, one he'd rather not think about; there was still a chance that his father was alive because he didn't know if space was affected by this as well or not; the other part of him saying that even if his father had survived, he had already died a long time ago because _humans did not live that long without a supernatural phenomenon_ and if he had been turned into stone in space, he would've most likely crushed down onto earth and shattered upon impact; and even if he landed in the ocean, he would be on the ground of the ocean now and Senkuu had no way to look for him there just yet; he didn't have the time _or_ resources. Survival on his part was more important. It was. There was. No doubt about it. Yeah.)

Of course, he was still lonely. But now he knew that at least _one_ of his friends was still alive and that was really reassuring.

Every time he felt himself falling down a rabbit hole, he would go over to the cave (stopping his house-building plans in the process) and look at Taiju, reminding himself that _yes, Taiju was okay, he was fine and now he just had to get productive and free him._

He slept better after he had found Taiju.

His limbs didn't feel as heavy as before.

His nightmares were still there, but they were only there every other night (even though those ones were very intense and he could remember every single second of it, them saying that he should hurry up, why was he betraying them, he had to help humanity, but how how how how _**HOW**_ he couldn't do this alone alone alone _**alone**_ -)

When he found Yuzuriha and the tree, he was more than glad that he had finally found both of his friends.

He couldn't just drag her back to the cave as well though because she was being protected by the tree itself, but that was okay, he would just come back once in a while (read: every single day) and check up on her.

(He remembered someone in the process. Shishio Tsukasa. The strongest high schooler? Something like that? Maybe he would be helpful later, but it could also be very dangerous. For now, his priority was reviving Taiju and Yuzuriha – so that he ~~wouldn't feel as lonely and lost and sad~~ could get them to help him because they would.)

Sometimes he still felt helpless and scared, but it was getting less often over time (he was glad. Feeling like that made him confused and act illogical. Was that what Yuzuriha had always talked about? Something ridiculous like 'love can cloud your senses'? But no, he didn't love them, so _why–_ )

He worked day and night, often exhausting him so much that he collapsed right in the middle of his work because he just _couldn't stand anymore_.

He wanted to stop, _everything hurt_ but if he stopped now, he would most likely never be able to get up again, he knew that much.

These feelings were unfamiliar and new, but at least he was growing a bit accustomed to the constant sadness (that was still lingering in the back of his mind most days) and everything else in general so that it didn't make him act as illogical as before.

'Acting on impulse' was what was really dangerous in this stone world.

He knew that overexerting himself was bad, that not stopping was bad, that he needed _rest_ , _**wanted**_ rest but the thought of rebuilding a safe 'home' for Taiju and Yuzuriha – for _all of them_ – kept him going.

And when the house and the necessary things were finally completed, he sank down on his knees before he collapsed.

When he woke up, he didn't stand up immediately and allowed his tired limbs to rest for a while longer.

Now he had to prepare to rebuild more and more things that had already been invented but forgotten (gotten destroyed) over the years. It would make things easier (and also more exhausting, the stress of finding materials without a helping hand, _without someone to talk to, without someone to_ –)

So he decided that he would do it.

And when Taiju _finally broke free_ , he was so _glad_ and _relieved_.

He suddenly felt more free than ever before, thinking that now that Taiju was here, things would get better.

And things did get better until they had to revive Tsukasa. Until Senkuu found out about Tsukasa's plan. He hated it.

(They wouldn't be able to trick him, they wouldn't be able to do it. They _wouldn't_ –)

They fled to make gunpowder.

The following days went by in a blur. He treasured the few hours that he could lie to himself that they weren't being followed by a very, _very_ dangerous man that would most likely not hesitate to kill him.

(He didn't want to die.)

When Tsukasa caught up to them, Senkuu was _terrified_. He didn't let it show. He hoped he didn't.

“Will you give up on science?“ Tsukasa asked and some part of him screamed _yes, yes, I will, just don't hurt me, let me just stay with Taiju and Yuzuriha_ – but he knew that that wasn't right.

(Taiju, please. Don't be too late. He didn't want to die.)

He knew what he had to do. “You already know my answer, don't you?“

Tsukasa stepped towards him. “So your answer is no?“ he said and quirked an eyebrow, “I can see the fear in your eyes, Senkuu. Don't do this. Give up.“

“No,“ he said and shook his head before he sighed (shakily, but he hoped that no one noticed it. Tsukasa did) and cracked his neck, _Yuzuriha, notice this, please, please, don't let me die_ – “Now let's get this over with, alright?“

Even if Tsukasa reassured him that he would give him a quick, painless death, he wasn't any less scared. _What if Yuzuriha didn't notice it? What if his theory was wrong and he won't actually come back to life?_

_**But maybe that would be for the better.** _

“Goodbye, Senkuu,“ Tsukasa said and snapped his neck.

(Taiju was too late.)

**Author's Note:**

> :(
> 
> (as you might have noticed, there are slight changes here and there - well, except for the whole angst part, i mean; like how taiju was just,,, in plain sight; also senkuu calls byakuya his father in his thoughts but doesn't say that out loud)


End file.
